Life’s priority
I’ve realised lately that my life is exactly as I’ve always wanted it to be. There’s one word I constantly use to describe events, ideas, discussions, relationships – basically everything. It’s the word “interesting”. That’s what I look for, and that’s the essence of what I want in my life. It’s my No. 1 life’s priority and I leak it everywhere, whoever I talk to.
“Interesting” means that my life is not calm, it’s not balanced, nor it is smooth. And that’s all down to the choices I made in the past – and keep making now. Even though life’s not easy, it’s not something I’d complain about since the goal isn’t to have an easy, happy life; it’s to have an interesting one. My only complaint would be if it turned boring, but that’s hardly likely.
There obviously is a point to the story, as I don’t simply do autobiographical posts. The point is that we often don’t realise what we really want from life, and then we whine and complain that things aren’t the way they should be – though we make choices in a very specific way, leading us to exactly where we end up.
Only we often don’t know what’s driving us, so we end up somewhere other than where we pictured our path leading. That’s when regrets kick in, and we find ourselves saying, “It wasn’t supposed to be like that.” The discrepancy though, I dare say, is not between what we want and what we have, but between what we think we want and what we have. The key here though isn’t just thinking about what you want; it’s imagining how it would feel to have a life you’d describe as… joyful? Fulfilling? Easy? Boring? Let’s find out what your North Star is, and what you take into account when you make your life’s choices.
Back when I worked with startups, I used to ask them what their North Star was. If they didn’t have one, we created one together (if you’ve never seen it, check it out here: North Star Metric). The idea was to give them a single focal point for their future business decisions. Here, we do the reverse – we analyse the decisions to understand where they’re taking us.
So, what’s your focal point? What’s your life like now, and where have your past choices taken you? If you were to choose one adjective describing your ideal life, what would it be? Happy? Loving? Calm? Safe? Meaningful? Vibrant? Exciting?
How do others describe you? Which adjectives resonate with you, and which don’t? How do you want to be seen? Take note of the words you use most often – we reveal more of our personalities in conversation than we might intend.
Lastly, what are you able to sacrifice? Can you handle boredom for calmness? Can you drop happiness in favour of meaning? All that should tell you what your main priority is.
It’s a simple exercise and hopefully, one that leads to the realisation that our lives often match our deepest desires. We just don’t always realise that this is what we wanted in the first place.
